January 1st 2012. Happy Nude Rear!!

So, it's finally here. We've waited and waited for millions of years, since human life first crawled out of that swamp in Canada (I saw it on a documentary but had the sound down... I think that's how it happened) and finally 2012 has kicked in! I welcomed it in with a full bottle of Finlandia vodka and a plastic flute of Strongbow. Classy. Happy new year anyway.

So, in April (I haven't made a note of the date) I will be on the starting line off the most famous race in the world. No, not the 100 metre final at the Olympics. No, not the Oxford vs Cambridge Boat race either. And not Hitler's Master-race... certainly not! I'm talking about the London Marathon.

A place, named after another place where an event happened a squillion years ago, this occasion is the only time it's acceptable for Gordon Ramsey and Bob from Emmerdale to be seen in the same place at the same time as two rhinos and a deep sea diver. And no-one questions it because Sue Barker is there waving her microphone around.

I'm meant to be training to run the 26.2 miles and finish it in a reasonable time. However, things aren't really going to plan! Well, it's been Christmas and New Year which is traditionally a time that you put as much food in your mouth as you possibly can without needing surgery... not only that but I've drunk more than a thirsty sea turtle and smoked a small tobacco forest. I feel like I need to wrench out all of my internal organs and wash them in warm soapy water.

Other excuses for doing not doing any training so far include; it's too cold, I don't have the time, I've lost all my limbs, etc etc. None of them are strictly true (although it is quite cold) but I'm a weak-willed, lard-arsed, beer guzzling loser. So that's why I've started the blog. I need your help and kind words to get me through it. Also, the lovely Iwan Thomas might be doing it and I want to get a better time than him. Here's a picture of him in just trainers, purely for aesthetic purposes.

Follow Iwan on Twitter @iwanrunner and taunt him for me! Thanks.

While you look at that picture, I'll tell you some information about the charity I'm 'running' for. The Lesbian & Gay Foundation are a charity organisation in Manchester who aim to end homophobia and empower people of all sexual orientations. They offer counselling services, helplines, sexual health testing and provide free condoms to all the gay venues in Manchester and it's boroughs. They also develop resources for mental health issues, physical health advice, hate crimes and befriending services. Basically, they're good guys!! Find out more about them by visiting their website which is:

http://www.lgf.org.uk/

So wouldn't you like to help them!? Of course you would. You can sponsor me for my efforts by going to my justgiving page:

www.justgiving.co.uk/martincooperlgf

And in case you're thinking, 'Why should I bother?' here's a picture to demonstrate how well my training is going at the minute. The very moment I opened this blog:

And, in case you thought 'well, the odd choccy won't do him any harm', here is my lunch.

So, you can see the work that needs to be done! Please help me. Follow me on Twitter at @martcoopscooper and I'll keep you up to date with all the times and distances I've been running and any helpful tips I pick up along the way. Speak soon! Muah! xx