Tuesday 24th January 2012

Oh my god. I'm here!! I'm so sorry I've not written stuff for ages, but it's all been a bit crackers this end. I went on holiday (I'm using that phrase loosely) to Centre Parcs and did NO running at all, although it does turn out I'm belting at badminton, and then I've had a stupid week at work.

However, that said, I did manage to get out and have a bit of a milestone run on Sunday. I have set myself 3 milestone runs before the big day; one at the end of January, one the end of February and one the end of March. January's was 8 miles. I know its a long way off 26.2, but it's still the furthest I've ever run. I've done a few 6 milers before and achieved some really positive times (my P.B. is 47 minutes) so I was looking forward to pushing that barrier.

I gave myself a target of 1hr 10mins and rather than doing a circular route I ran to a destination and got my butler to come and pick me up. I don't know why but I've found I much prefer doing a destination run rather than a lap route or worse still a 'there and back' run. I'm not sure why. Lucky the London Marathon is a destination run... because that'll make it sooooo much easier I'm sure! (detect the sarcasm?)

Anyway, I did the 8 miles in 1hr 2mins, so I was dead chuffed with that. And I didn't feel like I was gonna die either, I could have carried on. The only problem though is the air in winter, it's so... thin!! It sits on my chest and makes me COUGH!! AHEM!

Anyway, I bought a magazine today called 'Run You Bastards' or something like that... no... Men's Running!? I dunno! It has some really useful tips in it for first time marathon runners and also tells me how to lose weight and look A-MA-ZING! (Might be beyond possibility).

So I bought everything it's told me to buy. Vitamins, minerals, eggs, oily fish... apparently the new way to lose fat is to eat fat!! That sounds like a lie, but that's what my £4.50 magazine is telling me, and for that price I expect the truth! And it also said I need 8 hours sleep a night, so I hope I don't have an episode like I had last night again!

Basically I was having a dream that I was in a car with my mum in Montenegro. She was trying to do a 3 point turn and was complaining that the roads were too thin. "This is the worse thing about Montenegro" she said, to which I replied, "yes mother. Thin roads are the worse thing about Montenegro. Out of everything, the very worse thing about Montenegro is road width!".

I woke up, realised how stupid the whole dream was, but everytime I tried to get back to sleep all I could think about was thin Montenegran roads. Now THAT'S f***ed up!!

Laters. Sponsor me please!!

www.justgiving.co.uk/martincooperlgf

xx

7th january 2012 - How to Blog

This post has nothing to do with training for a marathon or running or anything... but it's quite funny in a way!

I'm sitting in on a social networking course, which is a course we have set up to teach people how to use Facebook, Twitter and blogging sites like this one. However, none of us can log in to the computers (I've somehow managed it) and even if we could get in, the place where the course is being held at has put a block on Facebook and Twitter!

The irony is painful.

I'll be back tomorrow, after a run.

Love ya,
M xx

January 5th 2012

Hey, how's it going? Really? Good.

Last night I didn't finish work until 10pm, which is quite usual and obviously this can play havock with a training schedule. I had intended it to be a rest day anyway, but as it happened I ended up having to get the bus home which dropped me off near Rob's. You know Rob... Vicky's Rob? No? Oh well... it's not important. The important thing is that it's 4 miles away from my home! And it was 11:30pm.

The weather last night was absolutely horrific. It was cold, wet and awfully windy. Like, 80 miles per hour winds. People were being blown all over the joint! I saw a woman in a burka having a hell of a time. I decided that, rather than get a taxi, I would walk the 4 miles to make up for a lack of exercise over the last couple of days.

It was evil.

I swear I saw Dorothy and Toto go past at one point. Eventually I just opened up my jacket and angled my heels right and landsurfed my way back home. I would not recommend it.

Today I was working from home, which people think means eating biscuits and watching porn all day, but I assure you I did do some work. My intention was to go for a run tonight once I'd 'clocked off', but first I had to wash the dishes, then take down the Christmas decorations, then I decided to clean out the cupboard under the stairs. It just seemed like a much more preferable option to going outside into the rainy, windy, hurricaney weather!

So it would seem I have slipped into the 'I'll do it tomorrow' stage of training. Brilliant. I hope that doesn't last and I can motivate myself. If you were to sponsor me, that would definitely help I think. Here's the link again:

www.justgiving.co.uk/martincooperlgf

Thanks babes. Last day at work tomorrow before my holiday at Centre Parks. I only agreed to it because I though my friends said Central Park. I'm gutted. Anyway, thanks for stopping by. I'll write again soon! Tell your friends!

M xx

January 2nd 2012

So I did it! I went out and ran today. I decided to do about 4 miles to start with. I ran it in around 33 minutes which I was pleased with, but it does hurt now! What struck me though was how thoroughly miserable the whole experience is! Cold... muddy... sore...

How do people love it? It's beyond me. From getting ready to go, to getting in the shower afterwards, the whole experience is a bit crap really!! I know there are people who get up specially at 6am so they can get a run in before they start their day properly, or those that leisurely wind down in the evening with a brisk 8 miler, but exactly who are these people? Is it you? IS IT!?

Because if it is, could you console me saying, "when I first started I hated it, but grew to love it eventually"? Because it seems like that epiphany is a long way away at the moment!

In other news, I roasted some vegetables tonight for lunch tomorrow. I decided to roast some sprouts and found out that they taste really good!! Who's have thought that those evil little dwarf cabbages could be good in any way, but there you have it.

Go on. Roast a sprout today. They're on sale.

Distance: 4 miles
Time: 33m 27 secs

January 1st 2012. Happy Nude Rear!!

So, it's finally here. We've waited and waited for millions of years, since human life first crawled out of that swamp in Canada (I saw it on a documentary but had the sound down... I think that's how it happened) and finally 2012 has kicked in! I welcomed it in with a full bottle of Finlandia vodka and a plastic flute of Strongbow. Classy. Happy new year anyway.

So, in April (I haven't made a note of the date) I will be on the starting line off the most famous race in the world. No, not the 100 metre final at the Olympics. No, not the Oxford vs Cambridge Boat race either. And not Hitler's Master-race... certainly not! I'm talking about the London Marathon.

A place, named after another place where an event happened a squillion years ago, this occasion is the only time it's acceptable for Gordon Ramsey and Bob from Emmerdale to be seen in the same place at the same time as two rhinos and a deep sea diver. And no-one questions it because Sue Barker is there waving her microphone around.

I'm meant to be training to run the 26.2 miles and finish it in a reasonable time. However, things aren't really going to plan! Well, it's been Christmas and New Year which is traditionally a time that you put as much food in your mouth as you possibly can without needing surgery... not only that but I've drunk more than a thirsty sea turtle and smoked a small tobacco forest. I feel like I need to wrench out all of my internal organs and wash them in warm soapy water.

Other excuses for doing not doing any training so far include; it's too cold, I don't have the time, I've lost all my limbs, etc etc. None of them are strictly true (although it is quite cold) but I'm a weak-willed, lard-arsed, beer guzzling loser. So that's why I've started the blog. I need your help and kind words to get me through it. Also, the lovely Iwan Thomas might be doing it and I want to get a better time than him. Here's a picture of him in just trainers, purely for aesthetic purposes.

Follow Iwan on Twitter @iwanrunner and taunt him for me! Thanks.

While you look at that picture, I'll tell you some information about the charity I'm 'running' for. The Lesbian & Gay Foundation are a charity organisation in Manchester who aim to end homophobia and empower people of all sexual orientations. They offer counselling services, helplines, sexual health testing and provide free condoms to all the gay venues in Manchester and it's boroughs. They also develop resources for mental health issues, physical health advice, hate crimes and befriending services. Basically, they're good guys!! Find out more about them by visiting their website which is:

http://www.lgf.org.uk/

So wouldn't you like to help them!? Of course you would. You can sponsor me for my efforts by going to my justgiving page:

www.justgiving.co.uk/martincooperlgf

And in case you're thinking, 'Why should I bother?' here's a picture to demonstrate how well my training is going at the minute. The very moment I opened this blog:

And, in case you thought 'well, the odd choccy won't do him any harm', here is my lunch.

So, you can see the work that needs to be done! Please help me. Follow me on Twitter at @martcoopscooper and I'll keep you up to date with all the times and distances I've been running and any helpful tips I pick up along the way. Speak soon! Muah! xx